A Faith Journey Towards Confidence
by Rev. Alexandra Robinson on January 17, 2024
In last week’s devotional, I invited you to go to God in prayer to name your doubts in trust that the divine space of vulnerability will be met with grace and compassion. God knows and loves you and hears your sighs too deep for words, and so as you have done this, I pray you have felt the assurance of being claimed as a beloved child of God.
In worship this Sunday, we talked about how our spiritual development evolves in this journey, alongside our cognitive and emotional development. This week, I invite you to name the experiences in your life that have led you through this process.
For instance, in the times of your life that offered foundations of faith where you were learning Bible stories in children’s Sunday school, this provided a space of certainty, appropriate for your cognitive development. But perhaps as you entered high school, you started to question those assumptions and entered the abstract thought process, integrating Christian complexity in learnings of evolution and history. In college, you likely started to distance yourself from what had been in your early development to form your own ideas in a time of perplexity as you were “figuring out yourself” in a wealth of new knowledge and experiences. And later in life, as you entered harmony, you began to find a peace in the questions, in the doubts, and in the journey itself. Maybe none of this was done intentionally, but perhaps as you look back in your personal timeline of faith development you can see some critical moments, some ongoing patterns, or some ways in which you have approached your belief system that has been helpful.
As you consider this timeline, I invite you to open yourself to this prayer:
I always wanted to get it right,
to please you,
to be certain that I know you and you know me.
This is my desire for assurance of what You already understand.
Forgive me Lord, for the times where I lean into the arrogance of my right answers.
Help me Lord, in the ways that I struggle to accept faithful ideas beyond my own.
Have mercy on me Lord, to see you in the unexpected places and people so I can grow in new ways of loving you.
It is my brain,
It is my ideas,
It is my possibilities,
That draw me to you, help me know you, and holds me back from the fullness of you.
It is your wisdom,
It is your mercy,
It is your mystery,
That draw me to you, to help me know you, and holds me back from the fullness of you.
In this tension O Lord, walk with me.
Assure me you have not abandoned me to figure it out alone.
Give me ways to connect with you again and again,
That lead me to the heights and the depths of a faith that is confident, not certain.
God’s grace is with you in this journey,.